Book Report: P.S. Your Cat is Dead

P.S. Your Cat is Dead
By James Kirkwood

Found this book in a bookstore that was going out of business. This is an 'advance uncorrected proof', though the book was originally published in 1972. The title, written in black and set against a stark white spine, grabbed my attention.
I can't resist a snappy title.

From the back:
"It's New Year's Eve in New York City. Your best friend died in September, you've been robbed twice, your girlfriend is leaving you, you've just lost your job... and the only one left to talk to is the bisexual burglar you've got tied up in the kitchen."


I quickly debated over this book. 1972 is a long time ago, but the blurb on the back brags about how this story was transformed into a play and preformed 'over 200 times a year in productions around the country.' It's obviously going to be funny, and if it's really been made into a play, it has to be good, right? (AND, while gathering links to this entry, I discover a movie has also been made.)

While slow to get started, this story explodes into action around a quarter of the way in. James Zoole is a down on his luck, out of work actor, who lives in an abandoned apartment building with his cat, Bobby Seale. After much set up and illustration of Jame's back story, we witness a fight (which escalates into a fruit-throwing shouting match) between him and his girlfriend, which of course results in James being left alone in his apartment, angry and hurt. Little did he know, though, that laying in hiding under the bed, was a burglar--and not just any burglar, the same burglar who'd broken in twice before. Jimmy, who's caught up in the heat of the moment, makes a bold decision born of desperation and attacks the stranger, and WINS, then proceeds to tie the man face down to the kitchen island (strategically placed over the sink, just in case).

The rest of the story bears birth to a unique relationship--dare I say friendship--between Loser Gone Crazy and his Captive. Much of the story takes place in the kitchen, much of it dialogue, as the two explore each other through alternating fits of banter and anger. Each has been hurt, each finds a likable commonality with the other. As the night wears on, different people from Jimmy's life intrude:

"I didn't even hear the door open, only heard my name. "Jim...?" We both turned, just in time to see Kate's head peek in the door. She was surprised, too surprised to speak at first, so was I. I had certainly not expected to see her. She'd stepped into the room now and was focusing on the strange tableau we must have presented, to the background music of the Mozart String Quintets: the prone figure of Vito, tied down, bare-assed as a babe, yet cynically wise of face, me standing attendance, inserting the cigarette for him to puff, then taking it away as he exhaled. For what seemed like ages the only sound in the room was the music. The expression on her face was priceless. Her eyes mirrored her speechlessness. Yes, for once Kate was speechless. I glanced down to Vito. His eyes flickered from Kate to me. There was a twinkle, an immediate spark between us."

Needless to say, the ensuing scene between Jimmy, Vito, ex-girlfriend Kate and her new guy Fred is priceless. Jimmy and Vito ad-lib well together, each an actor in their own right, and play up the moment to the maximum--two men coming together just for the sheer joy of revenge against a cheating woman.

This story is truly unique, but there are subtle rises and falls and during the 'down times', I found myself skipping words in an effort to get ahead. The conversations between Jimmy and Vito are the heart of this book, pure character exploration that took quite a deal of talent and imagination from Kirkwood. His humor is dry and witty and he's not afraid to 'go there'... including terrifying his main character with the possibility of rape at this story's height. The dialect is playful and true, and each character is definately his or her own person. This somewhat unbelievable mishap is handled masterfully and vividly, and somehow manages to end with satisfaction.

Four out of Five stars for characterization, humor, dialogue and character growth.

P.S.--The cat really is dead.