Book Report: An Arsonist's Guide to Writer's Homes in New England

An Arsonist's Guide to Writer's Homes in New England
By Brock Clarke

Book Description:
As a teenager, it was never Sam Pulsifer's intention to torch an American landmark, and he certainly never planned to kill two people in the blaze. To this day, he still wonders why that young couple was upstairs in bed in the Emily Dickinson House after hours.

After serving ten years in prison for his crime, Sam is determined to put the past behind him. He finishes college, begins a career, falls in love, gets married, has two adorable kids, and buys a home. His low-profile life is chugging along quite nicely until the past comes crashing through his front door.

As the homes of Robert Frost, Edith Wharton, Herman Melville, and Nathaniel Hawthorne, and even a replica of Henry David Thoreau's cabin at Walden Pond, go up in smoke, Sam becomes the number one suspect. Finding the real culprit is the only way to clear his name—but sometimes there's a terrible price to pay for the truth.

First sentence:
I, Sam Pulsifer, am the man who accidentally burned down the Emily Dickinson house in Amherst, Massachusetts, and who in the process killed two people, for which I spent ten years in prison and, as letters from scholars of American literature tell me, for which I will continue to pay a high price long into the not-so-sweet hereafter.


Obviously, this is book you'd have trouble reading half-asleep. Long, witty sentences dominate much of the narrative, and if you can keep up, you'll enjoy the humor. Even the title is an attention-grabber--be prepared to do some explaining if reading this in public. Clarke is an expert at sarcasm and far-fetched situations, and this odd little story turned out fairly well.

The protag is a pretty normal guy, who is just trying to get his life back on track after a huge detour. Fate, however, has sniffed him out and seems determined to send poor Sam straight back to jail. Not long after completing his sentence for the Emily Dickinson fiasco, the homes of other authors start to burn down. Suspicions rise, and Sam is desperate to clear his name. His parents have disowned him, but he crashes their house anyway after the son of the two that died in the Dickinson fire shows up on Sam's front step, wanting revenge. Soon Sam's father shares a secret--a box of letters that were addressed to Sam while he was in jail, letters of support, letters of request that he burn down other author's homes, even sighting the reasons (motives). While his wife slips away to another man and his parent's nighttime antics continue to confuse him, Sam begins his own hunt for the real New England arsonist.

Sam is the deepest of all the characters, and has a few endearing, insightful moments--that unfortunately, kicked me right out of the story as the words echoed in my head.

"What are you thinking?" Anne Marie said finally. There was a weary, sighing quality to her voice, which I took for simple human fatigue, but which might have been resignation. I wish I'd paid more attention to Anne Marie back then, but I didn't. Oh, why didn't I? Why don't we listen to the people we love? Is it because we have only so much listening in us, and so many very important things to tell ourselves?

**

When I was a boy, I would read those postcards and know exactly why my father was doing what he was doing: he was taking a stab at greatness, that is, if greatness is simply another word for doing something different from what you were already doing--or maybe greatness is the thing we want to have to that other people will want to have us, or maybe greatness is merely the grail for our unhappy, striving selves, the thing we think we need but don't and can't get anyway.


Good writing, but is lacking that intangible 'heartbeat' that makes this a truly wonderful story.
Two out of five stars

Book Report: Setting the Lawn On Fire

Setting the Lawn On Fire
By Mack Friedman

Book Description:
Setting the Lawn on Fire, the first novel by critically acclaimed writer Mack Friedman, trails its narrator through his obsessions with sex, drugs, art, and poison. Ivan, a young Jewish boy from Milwaukee, embarks on a journey of sexual discovery that leads him from Wisconsin to Alaska, Philadelphia, and Mexico through stints as a fishery worker, artist, and finally a hustler who learns to provide the blank canvas for other people’s dreams. The result is a new kind of coming-of-age story that sees passion from every angle because its protagonist is every kind of lover: the seducer and the seduced, the pornographer and the model, the hunter and the prey, the trick and the john. In the end, Setting the Lawn on Fire is also something rare—a fully realized, contemporary romance that illuminates the power of desire and the rituals of the body, the brain, and the heart that attempt to contain our passions.

First paragraph:
It's the first day of school, third grade. Where are you? Are you there? Do you remember the leaves starting to change, the breeze cooling hips under shorts? Were you looking down at your new shoes? I looked up on my way to the bus, saw a boy.

I bought this book because I thought the premise looked promising. I usually love solo-journeys of a man's self-discovery, and this looked quite interesting.

However, a month after having read it, I can not remember what it was about.

Ivan, the protag, summarizes his childhood with moments of sexual awkwardness, hinting to his future blossoming as a homosexual. His mother is physically absent (dying shortly in), and his dad is the absent mentally. Ivan deals with his confusing puberty by secretly nurturing his inappropriate fascinations: he sneaks into local libraries late at night and ferrets out reference books on male adolescence, then cuts out the pictures for his own private collection.

Then, the summer he turns twenty, Ivan moves to Alaska to work as a fisherman. He lives in a tent with a few other guys, working grueling, laborious jobs for minimum wage, often times going without work and just barely keeping themselves fed. The writing is fresh and descriptive, and the sights and smells were not hard to imagine.

But the events of this story are somewhat disjointed--or at least time has corroded my memory. Ivan's secret fetish is growing worse, and after he returns home he uses the gym locker room to pick up older men--and fails. Frustrated, he eventually places an add in the paper's back page, and is quickly contacted by a homosexual pimp, who immediately puts Ivan to work. But instead of living out his fantasies, Ivan's self-torment is only compounded and soon drugs enter the picture. The ending provides a quiet, heartbreaking moment of truth and realization in unexpected form, bringing this somewhat reckless and grandiose journey to a gentle close.

I wasn't expecting what I got, I'll say that much. This book is very liberal and unafraid, delving into one character's most private acts and thoughts, and then running with them to the end. But the writing is good--really good--and I have to admit the events on these pages are unique. Setting the Lawn On Fire is short and a quick read--which works really well for this particular story. A lot is crammed in between the covers, and, once I refreshed myself, I remembered exactly who Ivan was, the images I'd formed came trickling back one by one.

That's gotta say something.

Two and a half stars out of five

Book Report: The Night Buffalo

The Night Buffalo
By Guillermo Arriaga
(Translated by Alan Page)

Book Description

Award-winning, internationally acclaimed writer Guillermo Arriaga weaves a luminous, insightful story of love and friendship, passion and betrayal, lunacy and mental illness. Set in Mexico City, The Night Buffalo revolves around the mysterious suicide of Gregorio, a charismatic but troubled young man who was betrayed by the two people he trusted most.

First Paragraph:

I decided to visit Gregorio on a Saturday afternoon, three weeks after his most recent release from the hospital. It wasn't easy for me to seek him out. I thought it over for months. I was afraid of meeting him again, almost as if I were anticipating an ambush. That afternoon I walked around the block several times not daring to knock on his door. When I finally did, I was nervous, restless, and--why not say it--feeling a little cowardly.

I rescued this book from Cargo Largo, intrigued by the premise and the author's film work. Guillermo Arriaga is the screenwriter for 21 Grams and Babel, two movies which I know were very popular when they released. I've seen neither. But when reviews for a book include words like 'haunting' and 'poetic' and 'mental illness' and 'troubled young man', I'll bite every time.

Manuel, a college student in Mexico City, is this story's protag, and a guilty one at that. Within pages, Manuel's friend Gregorio kills himself and Manuel finds the gruesome body. But Gregorio's story is far from over. A dark, somewhat demented, 'troubled' character, he continues to haunt Manuel even after his demise, in the form of having a fellow patient from the mental hospital send Manuel threatening, cryptic letters. Gregorio knew that Manuel was sleeping with his girlfriend, Tania, and is rightfully not happy about it. But if that weren't enough, Manuel was also sleeping with Gergorio's sister, Margarita.

The lust and sex is unneeded, as the female characters come off as shallow and needy and stereotyped. The real story is Manuel's slow unravel, as his guilt and fear cause inner torment and conflict--the stuff of real storytelling. Gregorio--both in life and death--has affected everyone he knew and the guilty suffer.

This is a fast moving story, broken into flashes with breaks between every few paragraphs and written with light, entrancing dialogue. I personally enjoy these kinds of stories, and this one was no exception. The writing is good, but it seems as though too much work was put into trying to make this plot smart and clever, and because of it, the characters feel shallow. One of my favorite characters was actually a minor one, a detective that enters near the climax and doesn't stay long, but his realism left a bigger impression than most other characters. Perhaps this story would be better suited as a screenplay--and in turn, another creepy!good film.

Night Buffalo certainly has its moments, with several outstanding passages. Not poetic, but rhythmic and easy to read. Lingering.

I sat on the bed. I could make out the faint outline of her body on the comforter. I touched it to see if her warmth was still there, but the fabric had grown cold. I breathed in between the pillows and picked up hint of her scent. I grabbed the book. On the page at which it had been left open, Tania had underlined a phrase with a blue marker--"Before being humans, we're animals"--and on the margin, she had written in her uneven handwriting: "and before that we're demons."


Two stars out of five

Book Report: The Zookeeper

The Zookeeper
By Alex MacLennan

Book Description

Sam Metcalfe has it all. Well, that's not exactly true. He's got a great job at the local DC zoo, but he can't seem to realize his goals. He's got amazing friends and family, including the troubled Lauren, but they seem to be running off in every direction but home. He's even found himself a brand new boyfriend, the apparently perfect Dean, except there seem to be cracks in the very foundation of their relationship. Now, opportunity is coming Sam's way. He has a chance to finally discover not only his true calling, but his true self. Will the zoo that is his life allow the freedom to chase after his long-desired dreams?

First sentence:

With no one in the darkened hallway to hear him, Sam explained to the monkeys that it was one whole year now that he'd been alone.

I let the reviews on the back cover persuade me into buying this. Carolyn Parkhurst wrote that 'Alex MacLennan explores the uncomfortable choices we make when we trade solitude for companionship, the freedom of wilderness for the comfort of civilization. MacLennan never lets us forget that we are, all of us, animals.'

This is a story about a guy. Straight away, I was able to identify with Sam's quiet, somewhat shy and self-conscious personality. In charge of the howler monkey exhibit at the San Fransisco zoo, Sam enjoys his job and the moments where he can interact privately with the animals. The first page sees him scrubbing vomit from the floor, a task which he preforms with patience and pride. He is secure with his animals, and even confident in his knowledge; he goes before the zoo committee to propose his idea for a new exhibit (not the first attempt, either) but is politely turned down. Sam feels indignant.

That night, he joins his best friend at her restaurant, where she is celebrating with friends over a recent critique that should boost business. At this party he meets Dean, a local weather forecaster who has been picked by Sam's friends as the next prospective relationship.

Sam and Dean (I did not realize this story was about a 'Sam and Dean' until page 143, believe it or not. What sort of Supernatural fan am I?) quickly hit it off and the next several chapters establish a peaceful, just-fallen-in-love world. At the zoo, a new budget sees Sam paired up with Jack, the 'King of Lion Island'. Sam is to shadow the elderly big-cat carer, with unspoken intentions that he might take over when Jack retires. Meanwhile, Dean is struggling to become a prime-time news reporter, and his outgoing nature is trying for Sam but they still find passion in the bedroom.

Meanwhile, Laurel, the restaurant owner, is contacted by her sister and told their mother has Alzheimer's. A chapter at a time, Laurel's story unfolds as she at first refuses to give up her successful business, but slowly--and painfully--realizes that that is indeed what she should do.

A few chapters are presented as backstory, typed in italics and written from Sam's mother or father's POV. While these snippets to little to propel the story, they lend insight and richness.

This story is not really exciting. But it is one of the most beautifully detailed stories I've read. I could smell the food cooking in Laurel's restaurant, I could see the lights at the parties Sam would attend, I could hear the roar of the lions and tigers at the zoo. And the insight-fullness into Sam's character is amazing. MacLennan knows people, understands why we do the things we do, understands emotions and reasoning and heartache. Many times, I was impressed by the clarity of Sam's pysche. By the end of the book, I was even able to understand myself a little bit better. Care has been given to each of the characters, and many of them are unique and tender. Sam's character arc is complete and satisfying, as he learns (or is forced to) stop putting everyone else before himself.

Alex MacLennan is a master of subtlety, and I would be very interested in seeing what he comes up with next.
Four out of five stars for description, characterization, balance and transformation

Book Report: Miracle Man

Miracle Man
By Ben Schrank

From the jacket:
In Ben Schrank's vividly realized debut novel, Martin Kelly Minter yearns for a meaningful relationship with his beautiful Puerto Rican neighbor, Luz, and a place in history as a modern-day Robin Hood. A college dropout, self-exiled from his middle-class family, he works as a moving man in Manhattan. When Kelly decides that the wealthy New Yorkers he moves don't appreciate what they have, he steals from them and plots to give to the poor. And on a cold winter day he bakes bread, counting on its warmth to seduce Luz. Kelly tries to do right, but when he gets the chance to make big-time money as a big-time thief, he calls this his destiny.

First paragraph:
We'd just finished a job, and I leaned against the side of the International. Our truck was old and pretty busted up. It was covered with a hippie-style painting of a massive pale hand (God's) bursting through fat white clouds with a glowing cardboard box in its palm. The rest of the truck was sky blue. The painting was old, and it was peeling and torn in places where Teddy and the other drivers had knocked the truck against cars, buses, trees, buildings, and other trucks.



The element of this book that I most enjoyed was the main character's Robin Hood complex. When I read that in the description, it sold me the book. I'm a sucker for guys with a strict moral code, I guess.

This story is very straight forward. In the beginning, Kelly is in a low spot in his life: living in a crappy apartment, working as a moving guy, just broken up with his girlfriend, seperated from his family. His best friend (and blood brother) Felix works for the same company and shares the same moral beliefs. Kelly is more comfortable with Felix even though Felix is married and with child, than Kelly is with his own biological brother, Kevin. Kevin is a doctor to the rich people, the people whom Kelly so dispises, and he represents everything Kelly frowns upon.

All Kelly wants is for people to be equals (and, for his actions to please people). He despises rich people in overpriced clothes, living in overpriced apartments, being catered to hand and foot while so many people are poor or homeless. Kelly has his heart in the right place: he always buys extra food so he can hand it out on the walk home, he hands out all the bills in his wallet, will even give someone the shirt off his back--but he wants to make a real difference. He steals from the clients he helps move, earings or money or statues, and gives it all away. But when the oppurtunity arises for him to make some serious cash, Kelly eagerly accepts and starts to brainstorm on how he can make a difference with the money.

One thing leads to another and as predicted, Kelly soon becomes the very thing he hates: a rich person in rich clothes living in a huge apartment. While his intention was that by making such a move he'd have the perfect cover for even more stealing, Kelly realizes that he actually likes being able to buy more than he needs. He's torn: he knows that he's breaking his own code, but not until his life starts to fall apart does he try to right all that's gone wrong.

I did not particularly love this book. It was not what I thought it would be, and the story was very simple and predictable. The dialect was heavy at times, and none of the supporting characters (save Felix) seemed to have the depth that Kelly did. There was not much action--much of the story consisted of Kelly waiting for orders. I could not manage as much sympathy for him as I would have liked to. The story seemed a little... flat.

However, I could not stop reading it, and I can't name the element that kept me hooked. Schrank attended the New York graduate program for Creative Writing, and I say that whatever he learned there is what prevented this from being a total loss. The structure was solid, the pacing steady... the story is true to mold. And maybe that's why I didn't enjoy it completely--it was too fill-in-the-blanks. Miracle Man is Schrank's first novel after years of non-fiction writing for Seventeen magazine, and I'm betting that his next novel will be much better, once he's allowed the story to have its own heartbeat. Combine Schrank's talents with a more colorful, engaging plot and he will be unstopable.

Two out of Five stars

Book Report: Good Omens

Good Omens
By Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman



From the back:
According to 'The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Anges Nutter, Witch' (the world's only completely accurate book of prophecies, written in 1655, before she exploded), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. Just before dinner.
So the armies of Good and Evil are ammassing, Atlantis is rising, frogs are falling, tempers are flaring. Everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan. Except a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon--both of whom have lived amongst Earth's mortals since The Beginning and have grown rather fond of the lifestyle--are not actually looking forward to the coming Rapture.
And someone seems to have misplaced the Antichrist...

First paragraphs:
It was a nice day.
All the days had been nice. There had been rather more than seven of them so far, and rain hadn't been invented yet. But clouds massing east of Eden suggested that the first thunderstorm was on its way, and it was going to be a big one.


This chunky little paperback was the only book I bought that day from Cargo Largo. Terry Pratchett's name on the spine caught my eye and I grabbed it, not entirely sold on the premise, but trusting it would be good nonetheless. I haven't read a Terry Pratchett book in a long time, but I know I love his stories. Plus, I was still reading 'The Messiah of Morris Avenue' at the time, which dealt heavily with religion, and I figured I'd learned enough from that book to be able to follow this one.

Page 14 sees Terry's first trademark footnote, and it made me happy to see it. For a book written by two people, I can't tell where one started and the other ended. I've not read Neil Gaiman's book, but if his sense of humor is that similar to Terry's, I look forward to reading.

Two of the main players in this story are Aziraphale, an angel, and Crowley, a demon. They've known each other since the start of time, and both have taken a liking to the world as it is today. But when Crowley recieves orders to 'plant' an infant Antichrist in a maternity ward, he must act. Unbeknownst to him, though, there is a mix-up between three identical babies. The Antichrist is sent home with an unsuspecting family, while all eyes are on a simple 'mortal' baby.

Aziraphale and Crowley make for a great pair: opposite values and morals, but getting along anyway as old friends do. They watch the child grow up (years pass in days), keenly observant and watching for any trait of the Antichrist to appear. However, the boy appears frighteningly normal. And on the day a Hell Hound is scheduled to appear as the boy's faithfull servant--and never shows up--they realize that the real Antichrist is somewhere else, and severe punishment is certain if they can't find him.

Meanwhile, the real Antichrist--named Adam, of course!--grows up with a normal childhood. He has three friends and The Them, as they're called, are known as trouble makers. Indeed, Adam's Hell Hound arrives, a huge, red-eyed, black dog that, once Adam names 'Dog', transforms into a loyal little terrier. In his new body, Dog finds himself enjoying this new cat-chasing, hole-digging life. The group is mostly inactive, mostly talking about how the world could be a better place if people would just stop killing whales and cutting down rainforests.

And all around the world, strange things start to happen. The weather goes berserk. Electricty fizzles out. Four seperate strangers start to gather power.

The final key player is Newt, the last Witchhunter in a long line of Witchhunters, sent on one final mission. He must find out why one town--Adam's town--is remaining so utterly normal when all this chaos is going on everywhere else. He eventually meets Anathema, a decendant of Anges Nutter. The two of them form a relationship--despite the fact that generations before, Newt's relative burned Anges at the stake--and they work on deciphering the prophecies with the intention of saving the world.

Terry and Neil took their time with this story, giving everyone a unique personality and backstory. As the story unfolds, all the seperate threads start to come together in comedic and interesting ways. Nothing goes right as each character must overcome their own odds. For such a large cast, I had no problem visualizing it all.

Mostly I enjoyed the relationship between the angel and the demon, the way they acted with such a comfortable friendship and even showed concern for each other, despite being 'enemies'. They debate on whether or not Adam, growing up with neither heavenly influences or demonic, can still mature into the Antichrist. Is evil nature or nurture? Can good overcome bad in the end?

For such a hearty, tongue-in-cheek Apocalypse story, there are some real messages here. The final showdown is huge and dazzling, containing all the major players and even some surprise ones. I enjoyed this book immensely and am marking it a favorite.

Five out of five stars for imagery, humor, characterization, management of subplots, and of course, Death's cameo. ;)

Book Report: The Messiah of Morris Avenue

The Messiah of Morris Avenue
By Tony Hendra

Book Description

Hendra is back with a novel set in a very reverent future where church and state walk hand in hand. Fade-in as Johnny Greco -- a fallen journalist who nurses a few grudges along with his cocktails -- stumbles onto the story of a young man named Jay who's driving around New Jersey preaching radical notions (kindness, generosity) and tossing off miracles. How better, Johnny schemes, to stick it to the Reverend Sabbath, Americas #1 Holy Warrior, than to write a headline-making story announcing Jay as the Second Coming? Then something strange happens. Died-in-the-wool skeptic Johnny actually finds his own life being transformed by the new messiah. Alternately hilarious and genuinely moving, The Messiah of Morris Avenue brings to life a savior who reminds the world of what Jesus actually taught and wittily skewers all sorts of sanctimoniousness on both sides of the political spectrum. Writing with heart, a sharp eye, and a passionate frustration with those who feel they hold a monopoly on God, Tony Hendra has created a delightful entertainment that reminds us of the unfailing power of genuine faith.

First paragraph (prologue):
Fort Oswald, Texas. An early summer storm roils the sky. Lightning crackles between fat thunderheads. They lurch over the flat plain, roly-poly gun-metal-gray giants, thousands of feet tall, occasionally spitting thin streams of dazzling light at the ground.

This is a book I bought mostly based on the cover. The description sounded pretty close to something I'd enjoy, but I could imagine it going either way. For a dollar, I decided to gamble.

The only other 'Christian' book I've read is 'Monster' by Frank Peretti, and I didn't even realize it was classified as such while I was reading it. This book, however, is very in-depth about the workings of religion and as I am not familiar with such, I was easily lost and skimming ahead. This story takes place in the future where Christianity has taken over the world to the most extreme; it's become a parody of itself as everything, from school systems to television award shows, have been reworked to accommodate this new breed of Christianity. Governing it all is Reverend Sabbath, who is enjoying his time in the limelight and the severe degree of importance he carries.

Having just watched the movie, 'Resurrecting the Champ', I likened the story to that film as nearly-outdated journalist Johnny Greco struggles to make regular postings to a sleazy Internet newspaper, let alone find any *real* story. He's frequently pursued regular stories of self-proclaimed messiahs and miracle workers, and, disappointed by all, has developed a distaste for them all. That is until a certain story catches his attention, a mysterious young man in the heart of the bronx, who appears long enough to preform an act of goodness and then vanishes again. He is without a name, seemingly only appearing to the people he saves, seemingly uninterested in fame and fortune--a fact that confuses and intrigues Johnny. So he sets out to find this 'Messiah of Morris Avenue', and find out what sort of corruption or evil plan is to come from him.

But the more time Johnny spends with Jay (whose real name is Jose Francisco and is of Guatemalan descent), the more Johnny finds himself believing in Jay's quiet, patient preachings. Chapter 11 stands out as one of the most moving parts: an intense but peaceful interview between Johnny and Jay taking place in a dingy motel room.

I asked him why he or his parents allowed evil to flourish.
"Evil is caused by selfishness, by people acting out of the belief that they and their needs are paramount. And just because our first and only commandment is love, the diametric opposite of selfishness, doesn't mean that we're going to save people from the consequences of their selfishness. If you force the vast majority of people to live in squalor so you can live in splendor, you'll bring on the Black Death. If you allow the rise of a homicidal maniac like Hitler because you see him as a way to beat down those who want equality and social justice, he'll start killing people. Don't blame God."
"What about AIDS? What have we done to deserve that?"
"AIDS has fundamental environmental causes that a team of scientists led by a young woman will soon isolate."
"Who's the young woman?"
"Can't tell you. You might track her down and in some way obstruct her. She's a second-year medical student in a sub-Sarharan country, and she'll soon win a graduate scholarship to a medical school in Italy."
"When will she cure AIDS?"
"You don't need to know."
"The public has a need to know."
"No, they don't. That's journalists masturbating. The public has no right or need to know the future."
"Will she become rich and famous?"
"No, she's truly a selfless person. But she'll be venerated as the savior of Africa--which will become the savior of the planet."
"Not the U.S.?"
"Dream on."


I really enjoyed Jay's character and his gentleness, what he stood for and how people interacted with him. This character is by far my favorite part of the book. Who knew the second coming of Jesus would appeal to me so much? To read the ending and the tragedy that unfolds was extremely painful, but a brutal illustration of the realities surrounding us today. While heartbreaking and morally wrong, it's impossible to miss the point Hendra was trying to make. And it is a message that resonates long after the book is closed.

While the set-up and exploration of a world gone Christianity-crazy was written with humor and detail, it pales in comparison to the compassion and depth of Jay's story. However without this eccentric background, the story wouldn't stand as strongly. In a universe where God has become so heavily commercialized, Jay's words of love and mercy ring honest and true--but most are too self-absorbed to hear, which is the biggest tragedy of all.

Four out of five stars for characterization, preaching without 'preaching', superb dialogue and crafting one of the most painful tragedies I've ever seen.