Book Report: Buzzed

Buzzed by Michael Witheford


First paragraph:
'Go to buggery then, 'Money Quest'.
You're not going to call. I know that. You know that. I'm not in the mythical barrel from which you allegedly extract the names of the lucky contestants who appear on your show--contestants who I could quite comfortably thrash on any night of the week. I was never in there, was I? Barrel my arse, frankly.'


Paul Hetherby is a hilariously cynical 35-year old man, suffering the hardships of being unemployed, heading up a struggling, unknown rock band, and a dismal love life. The start of the story sees him end a relationship with Janine, after she sleeps with a coworker. Although he'd been wanting to break it off with her for some time, the news still hits hard and his self esteem suffers.


But then Paul gets a bit of good news: after 8 years, the popular quiz show 'Money Quest' would like to have Paul appear on the show. This is the answer to all Paul's problems. He's strategize and practiced obsessively, and is confident he can win. With a suit borrowed from his successful brother and blessings from his mother and friends, Paul steps onto the TV set.


He hadn't planned on Rachel, though. When the attractive young woman wins the tie breaker by half a second, Paul is numb. His dreams are crushed. The filming ends, and Paul heads back to make up and forces a 'congratulations' when he sees Rachel there. Before he knows what he's doing--and with nothing left to lose--he asks her out for a drink and to his surprise, she agrees.


The rest of the story shows how Paul regains his confidence and finds true happiness--and then loses it. This is a memorable story of love and loss, of discovery and letting go. Witheford wrote his character as only a man can--simplistic and yet oh-so-complex, blundering yet endearing: a real and 3-dimensional human being.


And that is what impresses me the most about 'Buzzed': Paul is a multi-faceted character. With his girlfriends, he is the boyfriend: in love, gentle, caring, appeasing. With his bandmates, he is a rocker: proud of his rag-tag band, at home in the spotlight, a drinking partier. With his family, Paul is the son and brother. At home with his cat, Paul is himself: slightly manic, obsessive, insecure, poor, and at times, depressed. I felt that I really connected with Paul as I watched his mannerisms change to play the part. This is guy behavior. This is normal behavior, and I could relate.


Borrowing clothes from his brother:
"Can I borrow some clothes for TV?" I venture tentatively.
"Um… like what?" he frowns.
"A suit. Two suits."
"I've only got four."
"Four! That's a shopful. Armani?"
"Four," he says again.
"What?"
"Four. I said four."
I'm lost…oh…I get it. "I said Ar-ma-ni, not how many. Ha."
"Oh, right. Ho ho." No particularly amused. "Target, actually."
"Fine. Hand them over."
"You can only have one. Can't you wear jackets and shorts? No one sees your legs."
"They do when I go to get my prizes."
"So, it's decided then. You can't lose. You're invincible."
I nod.
He smiles. "I could beat you."


At a party:
For a moment there is silence, then Wilky throws his head back and howls. Everyone looks around. I stare down the neck of my bottle.
Ah, Rick. Thank God. Saved.
"Rick, this is…"
"Wilky, man. The pleasure's mine."
"So they tell me," says Rick.
"The Doors, man," urges Wilky. "The Doors."
Rick stares at Wilky with instant distaste. "Yeah. Stripped pine. Very tasteful."
"Rick," I say, "call off your dog."
"Got a minute?" says Rick.
No, I want to stay here and learn how this guy build the pyramids with a box of Lego and two tabs of acid.
"Yep, I do got a minute." I smile at the man in the hat. "Urgent business, nice to meet you. Take it easy."
"You too, man," and off he staggers.
"Send my regards to The Grateful Dead," Rick calls out. "Night Jim Bob."


On first date with Rachel:
"You said you did some bar work?"
She nods. "Weekends at Bar 72. Saturday's called 'Pineapple'."
I think I might have been there once. "That's the one hidden off Flinders Lane?"
"Yeah, you know it?"
"I went there once. The music was fantastic. Lots of filthy rock and roll."
"Must have been a Saturday," she nods. "It's like an anti-disco on Saturdays."
"Yeah, some guy played a whole side of The Who Live at Leads the night I went." I pull chunks of ice out of my drink--there's enough in it to sink the Titanic. "Yeah, I was in heaven when I stumbled onto that place."
"When was that?" Rachel asks. "Maybe I was working."
Maybe she was. But barmaids can by so… distant. So intimidating. Rachel isn't like that.


I give this book five out of five stars for character depth and emotional development.