Book Report: Pest Control

Pest Control by Bill Fitzhugh
Two words: LOVED IT.

Poor Bob Dillon can't catch a break. In the opening pages, he quits his job with a professional insect extermination company when the boss tells him to triple the amount of poisonous insecticide. This greatly clashes with Bob's position that humans are polluting the earth and making it unsafe, let alone creating more tolerant bugs. So after shoving the end of his sprayer up the boss's nose to make his point, Bob begins his trek home wondering how he will break the news to his wife.

At the same time, Klaus, a professional assassin for hire, shoots and kills one of Africa's evil tyrants during a celebration parade. But Klaus does not kill just anybody. He only kills those that deserve it. And forcing a population into extreme poverty definately fit the bill.

Bob makes it home, where he himself is in a state of poverty, and takes comfort in his bugs. He keeps them in aquariums and even has an entire room devoted to them. They were rare breeds, mostly killers (appropriately named Assassin bugs) and used in Bob's experiments: he wants to create the ultimate killing machine, an all-natural solution to the pesticide problem. His wife, while loving and wanting to be supportive, is realistic: they have a daughter and bills to pay and cannot spare to have Bob stay at home all day playing with his bugs. She wants him to find another job, still using chemicals, just until he's able to take his dream public.

Meanwhile, Marcel and Jean, two middle men for people who wanted someone dead but didn't want to do it themselves, have a problem. They need to find a killer, and quickly. They contact Klaus, who turns them down in a bout of reoccurring depression as well as the kill doesn't fit his moral code. Desperate, Marcel and Jean take to placing a discrete add in the newspaper. It reads: Professional Exterminator needed ASAP. $50K in a weekend! Major pest difficulty. Send resume to: 251 Kavkastrasse, Zurich 2VA-6P2. Pros only.

Bob, worried about his future and with only a few dollars to his name, lets a friend buy some beer at the local bar. Bob imagines how great his life will become as soon as he breeds the perfect Assassin bug. But he respects Mary's wishes and together with his friend, they scan the wanted ads.

Where, OF COURSE, they find the PERFECT job. Bob pulls on his 'Exterminator' hat and smiles as his friend snaps a picture, then off it goes with his application for the job.

And that, my friends, is just the first 55 pages.

This book is a wild ride. The action is vivid, the characters are real and memorable, the irony perfect and deftly played. I rooted for Bob the entire time, the poor bug-breeder caught in the nasty world of professional assassins and just not able to catch a break. I laughed out loud quite frequently and really LOVED getting lost in this story. The twists are outrageous, the dialogue audible, and the grubby city of New York springs off the pages. A handful of subplots are woven together so tightly I can't imagine this ending any other way. If I ever were to read a book a second time, this would certainly be one of them.

I give this 6 out of 5 stars. One of my favorites!!