How Much is Too Much (Or, Falling Out of Fandom)

I think I've officially fallen out of fandom. It kinda hurts, too. A friend sent me a letter of comment for Obsession and as typical per her, she pointed out one thing she liked along with one thing she didn't, which was, and I quote: my developing 'trend' of writing great angst without any comfort. And she's not the only one who was disappointed- two others noticed it too. Apparently I build up really great hurt Winchester but don't follow through, don't have any payoff.

So I tried not to get emotional and figure out *why* I do it. I know it's true. I think one reason is that I'm afraid to turn the Winchesters into crying little girls. I think another reason is my compost has changed. I no longer read fanfiction. I watch movies- and watch with a critical eye for plot. I read books that are heavy on the action. I read books on how to write. All of these things (generally) follow the same rule: as soon as the climax is over, so is the story. Wrap it up quickly, in the next ten minutes or few pages. Tie up your lose ends then you run, *run* off stage! If the action is over, no one cares anymore.

Fanfiction is written with the sole purpose of breaking that rule. In fanfiction, the audience gets to see what is denied them on screen- an emotional bonding between two heterosexual male characters. I was told that I used to be good at that. Maybe I was. But have I been taking writing too seriously now that I've started a novel? Have I been following the so-called rules so closely that I've forgotten what people *really* want? Are there really two separate audiences: one for action and one for emotional development? If so, can they be bridged?

This bit of criticism was needed. It tells me that I need to slow down, not run my story on high-octane rocket fuel all the time. Let the characters breathe, let them have emotions and wrestle with them.

Just as soon as I finish bashing my protag.
me